


The First Time

by Its_all_fine_and_dandy



Category: Peaky Blinders (TV), Peaky Blinders RPF
Genre: Angst and Porn, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Shameless Smut, Smut, tommy shelby smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-12
Updated: 2017-09-12
Packaged: 2018-12-26 20:53:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,978
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12066804
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Its_all_fine_and_dandy/pseuds/Its_all_fine_and_dandy
Summary: No-one knows Tommy Shelby. Not really. And then she does.





	The First Time

The first time he corners her in the alley behind her work. She's taking trash out and he appears, as if out of nowhere. The sharp stone wall scratches her back, as he pushes her up against it. She bites his neck in an attempt to stay quiet. It's quick and dirty and he leaves her alone afterwards - with her legs shaking, her knickers down around her ankles and her chest heaving. And she wonders, with her hand to her head, what he did down there because it's never felt quite that good before.

She doesn't ask why it happened. Doesn't question it. Why should she? They had fun. It was just a dirty story she might tell a girlfriend after she's had one too many.

The second time, on the other hand is something completely different. He comes in while she's closing up the shop, wraps his arm around her waist and smiles into her neck. He lifts her up onto the counter top, and _god fuck hygiene_ because this is happening. Right here and right now. And she doesn't want to stop it. He whispers inconceivable things into her ear and she cums in hot waves around him. His calloused hands are rough around her waist and she closes her eyes. Soaking everything in. The feel of him inside her, his hot breath against her neck. The simmering of her skin beneath his wet mouth as it trails down her body.

The third time something changes. They're in the back of the shop, lying on the floor and its just a huff, a whisper. "Tommy," she says against the skin of his neck and he freezes. He pulls out of her unceremoniously and sits back on his heels staring at her. His eyes are unfocused and almost angrily he covers his face with his hands. His shoulder begin to shake and she realises he's crying. She reaches out a tentative hand and he lets her hold him. They sit like that for a long time, him curled into her and she sees him through different eyes.

The fourth time, well after the fourth time actually. He tells her about her. She was a barmaid, then a spy, then his wife and now she's dead. He said that once she told him she'd take a bullet for him - never thought she meant literally. The little trickle of resentment she felt at the look Tommy got in his eyes when he spoke about Grace was washed away by the tide of pain she felt at his suffering. He told her how fucked up he was. All the things he had done. All while clenching his fists so hard his palms bleed and his knuckles turn an angry shade of white. She wraps his hands in kitchen towels and doesn't say anything for a long time. Then he tells her about the war. About how he's still trapped in that tunnel. She knows he's asking her for forgiveness, even though there is nothing to forgive. She just picks up his hand and puts it over her heart. He knows what it means.

The fifth time everything changed. They didn't fuck. It wasn't rough and dirty, or sweet and meaningless nor was it sad or angry. It was just her and him, them together. He was careful and soft, his fingertip's traced little patterns on the skin of her hips. His mouth moved in slow, long relaxed circles. He nipped at her skin. He kissed her until she was breathless and he made his way across her jaw, grazing the shell of her ear with is teeth. From there he trailed down, sucking on her neck until he felt sure it would bruise. He kissed down past her collarbones and then between her breasts. He focused on one nipple, swirling his tongue around it and then moved to the other before continuing on his journey down south.Stroking the underside of her breast all the while. He looked into her eyes, asking. Tommy Shelby had never asked before. He kissed the inside of her thigh and then he moved inwards. When he touched her there it was like fire. Sparks shot up her back and through her arms and he had to put his hands more firmly on her hips to keep her still. She had never come so hard in her life. Her chest rose and fell and she struggled for breath. He lay down next to her in bed. She reached for the button on his trousers but he shook his head and pushed her hand away. She looked up at him, questioningly.

"I wanted to give you something." Was all he said.

She smiled at him and crawled onto his lap. She slid her hands under is shirt and lifted it off over his head. She kissed him, his lips were rough and she could feel the bulge in his pants grow impossibly harder. His chest looked like it had been sculpted from white marble, pretty but not beautiful. She found the beauty in the bullet hole that marred the skin of his shoulder. She found the beauty in the small scars that littered his torso, the big one that ran over his ribs and the faint ones from a time before war when boys played in the streets. She traced over them all with the tip of her tongue, committing each to memory. A map of Tommy Shelby. Her hands undid his trousers, quick and careful. This time he didn’t stop her. He groaned against her as her warmth enveloped him. With her hands on his shoulders, they moved together until they came undone in each others arms.

The 15th time he tells her that he doesn't do girlfriends or any of that shite anymore. He tells her she'll never be his wife because Mrs.Shelby is rotting away in a hole in the ground just like he is. He doesn't look at her when he say's it either. He couldn't. Because he thinks that maybe she would care and it would break him to see any pain in her eyes - pain that he had caused. And then maybe she wouldn't and he realised that that might just break him too. He left in silence and he didn't turn around.

The time after they are lying in bed. His head on her chest, relaxed, peaceful - calm. She runs her hand through his deep brown hair a few times just because she can. She leans down a little and whispers "I don't want to be your girlfriend." and she feels his body go rigid "I don't want to be your property, I want you to be mine as much as I am yours. I want to be partners, with everything." He nods and a smile plays about his lips as he lays his head back down on her chest and she watches as his eyes flutter closed and he drifts off.

Then she meets his family. He dosen't tell her of course so she's completely unprepared when she walk into his house to find a table of people looking at her expectantly. She turns into Tommy's shoulder and lets him walk her to her seat, right beside him. She learns everyones names, Arthur, John, Finn, Michael, Esme and Polly - who is quiet possibly the most intimidating woman she has ever met. She holds her gaze though, long enough that one side of Polly's mouth quirks up in a sadistic half-smile that mirrors her lovers.

Polly knows. It’s clear and pure as crystal or sunshine. It beautiful. Everyone can see it, the way they glow when they're together. The way her eyes light up when she with him, the fact that he smiles. They don't know it yet - that's clear too.

The 50th time she notices how beautiful and warm his laugh is, and how the smell of cigarettes and smoke has never made her feel so safe. The way he dangles his cigarette out of the corner of his mouth when he's thinking about something. The way he drops his chin when he's sizing someone up and the way he raises it just a little when he knows he's right. She notices the way his collar is always perfectly smooth and he clothes are all pressed. She traces the curvature of his face with her fingertips and he closes his eyes and sighs. She can feel him relax, slowly but surely and she understands what that means. Not many people have the privilege of seeing him this way. She realises she’s probably one of the only people who have ever seen him truly naked. She blows a kiss onto his stomach to wake him, her hair tickling his skin. He looks down at her feigning annoyance, she does it again and he gives her a devilish smirk and rolls them over so he's on top. God only knows how wrong this man is for her but, boy, is she in love. She wants him to stay with her forever and it tears her up inside knowing he won't.

She finds a scrunched up photo of a woman with long blonde hair and a pretty Irish face. She asks him who it is and it's the first time he really scares her. His eyes go cold and dark and keeps yelling "Why the fuck would you ask that?". She's got her back against the bedroom wall, a sheet wrapped around her and he's going crazy. Tearing up anything in his path. Then she realises. Thats her. His wife. His dead wife. She doesn't deserve this though. She refuses cry and she refuses to shake because he needs to know who the toughest one is. And she just tells him over and over again "Tommy look at me, look at me." but he doesn't. He just keeps screaming until she can't take it anymore. A tear dribbles down her face as the front door of his apartment slams shut behind her. He's still screaming in the background. She doesn't deserve this.

He appears at her door a week and a half later, not that she'd been counting. With his hat in his hands and his head bowed low. She doesn't think she's ever seen Tommy look guilty before. She sits him down in her living room and makes him some tea but the air in the room is heavy and the conversation is strained at best. He sighs, looks up at her, analysis her face and places a silver wedding band down on the table. She looks up at him, but she's not happy. "I told you I'm not anyones property, I'm not some fucking sheep to be chained and branded. You speak to me the way you did and then you expect me to... to ...do this?" She said gesturing wildly at the ring in front of her. "And you know what else Tommy, I can't compete with a dead woman. She's gone Tommy and she's not coming back."

"The rings not for ye."

"Now you're telling me I've been your whore this whole time? You're marrying someone else? Oh my lord Tommy."

She picked it up to throw it at him or something when she realised it was huge. Oh. She moved towards him and took his hand, the ring slipped perfectly onto his finger.

"It's no competition."

Everything faded away and suddenly there was no room for anger. Only comfort. She doesn't ask for anything else because she knows perfectly well he doesn't do sorry's. He loves her and she loves him and its ok because even though he's fucked up for once she feels like love is enough.

The first time he voices the words 'I love you' is almost a year and a half later; but thats ok because he's said it everyday since.

**Author's Note:**

> Also posted on my tumblr - sixwaterylane.
> 
> Pretty please Read and Review xx


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